The Lemonade Stand

Not doing so well....

2011-01-05T11:16:00.002-06:00

It's January 5 and I'm JUST writing my first post of the year. Not off to a good start! Oh well....

We have a new house that we closed on and moved into mid-October 2010. We love it! 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a big backyard. We have room to grow in here. We've been re-doing some older furniture to put in here to save some money. I rather re-use old things rather than buy new stuff. We have been blessed because we were given a brand new coffee table and side table for the living room, a kitchen table, beds for the girls and other decorations.

Here's a picture of the outside. It's a bad angle...but still, it beats our 1 bedroom 1 bath we were living in before!

This was taken before we moved in...

My New Year's Resolution

2010-12-26T15:16:00.001-06:00

...is to blog daily! Hopefully, I really do it!!

Bianca

Please pray for this family

2010-08-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

Can you please keep Marina's family in your prayers? They have had an unusually long adoption process (17 months) and they're nearing the end. It's been one hurdle after another. It's been rough. They're anxious and exhausted. Can you pray for peace and favor for them?

Their blog is
www.savingmarina.blogspot.com

This blog

2010-07-08T15:58:00.001-05:00

is about to get alot more interesting. ;)

Whoo hoooo!

Why adopt overseas?

2010-05-25T22:42:00.002-05:00

Many people ask this question. Why not adopt from the US? My friend, Lori, has a blog post about this and I think it answers the question "Why adopt overseas" very well. It's very eye opening.

Here is the link to her blog post.

http://theharrisfamilyest2003.blogspot.com/2010/04/why-adopt-overseas.html

Bianca

When God's People Pray

2010-04-29T16:09:00.003-05:00

A precious little girl, Chrissie, has been lying in a hospital bed for the past 11 days where she is fighting for life. Doctors considered her heart defect to be 'incompatible with life.' People all over the world have been praying for healing for Chrissie and God has performed MIRACLE after MIRACLE after MIRACLE in sweet Chrissie. Please go check out her mom Lorraine's blog!!!

We had our very own miracle when Linden's heart was miraculously healed last July with no need for surgery. We are still praising God for that!! Our baby is a MIRACLE and every day with her is more precious than the day before.

This song was on Lorraine's blog and I clicked on to watch the You tube video. Wow is all I can say. Things do change when people pray.

When God's People pray by Crystal Lewis:

Deep in the dark of despair
Deep in my heart there's a prayer
That faith will reign over fear
That courage and strength will be mine

My heart is heavy I don't understand
Yet I know my life is in your hands

I realize that I am incapable
Of changing alone the impossible
But I believe in miracles
Together our voices will rise

We are not powerless in the face of fear
As one we will stand and make our voices clear

When God's people pray things will change
When God's people pray all the earth will obey
My faith can't be shaken because I have seen
The amazing, miraculous happens
When God's people pray

Our defense in danger
Our light in the midst of life
Our strength in the weakest moment
Our hope through the night, the night
All things are possible when we let go
Let go of what we can't control

When God's people pray things will change
When God's people pray all the earth will obey
My faith can't be shaken because I have seen
The amazing, miraculous happens
When God's people pray
The peace that we need will only come when we get on our knees

When God's people pray you know things will change
When God's people pray all the earth will obey
My faith can't be shaken because I have seen
The amazing, miraculous happens
When God's people pray

Ridin' in the "Stain"

2010-04-16T10:36:00.004-05:00

These pictures are so cute. Aislinn has a pink Mustang Power Wheels that she calls her "Stain" ('Stang). She drives that thing all over the yard until the battery dies. She puts her seatbelt on and makes sure that her passenger does as well.

Then, they found some caterpillars...

Have you ever seen anything cuter?

2010-04-16T10:27:00.003-05:00

Linden has had some trouble for a few weeks now using her sippy cup so I tried the bottle. She hasn't had a bottle since she's been 5 weeks old so I wasn't sure how she would do. She did great! Sucked the whole bottle of Pediasure down! After about a week of sucking on the bottle, she can use the sippy cup. Yay! Here are two pictures of her last night watching Baby Einstein and having a bottle. I give her the bottle a little more often because it's easier to hold as she has no fingers on her left hand.

19 months old!

2010-04-02T20:26:00.003-05:00

We went to a crawfish boil today at my cousin Jada's house. Linden had so much fun. The kids dyed eggs and later pocked them. Linden and Joe pocked and she won!!

She also got to play on the inflatable Fun Jump for the first time. She loved it.
(Look at those eyes!)

Here is she and I and you can see her two bottom teeth that came out at 16 months.

Middle sis and Little sis (Big sis was at Grandma's)

My cousin's little girl, Brooklyn, had some baby ducks and chicks.

I'm including this one because it's too funny :)

With her Paran Kip

Please help Jacob find his family!

2010-03-02T21:53:00.004-06:00

Jacob is a 4 year old orphan boy in Eastern Europe who is already living in an institution. He deserves a chance! He deserves a family to cherish him. Currently, Jacob has $0 in his grant fund but you can help by donating via the chip-in in my sidebar. All I'm asking for is for 21 people to donate $21 each. If you'd like to donate more, that would be wonderful. His profile can be found here on www.reecesrainbow.org.

3-21-10 is World Down syndrome Day. What better way to celebrate these children than to give them the chance of a family?

What can $21 buy you? Let's see....
A quarter of a tank of gas [which won't last long]
A DVD [that you may only watch once]...
A bouquet of flowers [that will die]

What can $21 buy for Jacob?
Your $21 tax deductible donation to Jacob's grant fund will be added with other donations to equal a larger amount. That 'small' amount may be all that his future family needs to help them commit to him. That 'small' amount is subtracted from the total amount needed for them to come up with to bring Jacob home. Isn't he worth it?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you are unable to give monetarily at this time, please pray for Jacob to have a family commit to him soon.

Bianca

Because it's Tuesday....

2010-02-23T17:52:00.003-06:00

You get to look at this sweet face. Isn't this hilarious? Linden does this all the time, looks at me out the side of her eyes. Spunky girl much?!?!

One of our whole family taken after our Valentine's date

Just sad today

2010-02-16T16:17:00.005-06:00

Giving 'it' to God, whatever 'it' may be, is easier said than done. My 'it' is adopting an orphan with special needs. I've been drawn to adoption ever since I was a little girl. Once, when I was about 7 or 8, I was told what an orphan was, a child with no parents. It made me very sad to think about a child perhaps the same age as me that had no family. I decided that I was going to set up my own orphanage where people could bring their kids to our family and we would take care of them rather than them being alone. (Again, this is a 7-8 year old's idea, keep that in mind ;) ) I straightened up my bedroom, put my toys in boxes along the wall, made my bed, gathered blankets and pillows from the other bedrooms in our house and after that was done, I started making signs for our doors. How would someone know our house was an orphanage if we didn't advertise? I put a big sign on our front door with the words "Orphans can live here." It was all set up, now, I waited. I fully expected for people to just start dropping kids off at our house. My mom probably thought that I was just playing around, but it really was all from my heart to save a child. A child saving a child.

Obviously, my bedroom did not become an orphanage, but that burden of 'saving children' has never left me. Before we were married, my now husband and I watched a Dateline NBC episode about the plight of the diabled orphans in Ukraine. It was absolutely heartwrenching to watch these people literally wasting away and forgotten. Many of the institutionalized had Down syndrome and although I didn't know much about it, I knew that they didn't deserve to be treated this way. I told my husband that I wished we could take some of those children in and love them like they should be loved, cherish them like they should be cherished. I don't think he took me seriously.

A year later, my 2nd biological daughter (technically 3rd), Linden, was born in Sept 2008, with Down syndrome. (!!!) I knew before she was born that something was going to be 'different' with her and I expressed that feeling to my husband. A mother's intuition is amazing! Through the Down syndrome message boards that I frequenced, I saw two different families with biological children with DS adopting another child with DS from Reece's Rainbow. It had never occured to me to adopt another child with DS, I didn't know that people did that. We were really overwhelmed at the time with our own children and Linden's health issues. After following those amazing journeys made by amazing families, I was really inspired to adopt another sweetie with Ds 'one day'.

I've followed many adoption journeys in the past year. I've witnessed God's hand in it all. I've seen people worry about the cost and then, somehow, He makes that burden go away by showing them that He is in control. I've seen husbands against adoption in general, finally come around to it and meet their child for the first time and wonder what their worry was in the first place. I've seen an 11 year old girl raise $30,000 in 8 days to bring home her baby sister. I've seen a family fall in love with a child on the angel tree, committing to raise money for them, praying for them to find a family, and ending up being that family themselves. I've seen children weeks away from an adult mental institution find families in the nick of time. I've seen many, many miracles.

This all leads me to the reason why I'm struggling right now. My husband is adamantly against adoption. His reasons (1.He thinks we have enough children. 2. We already have one with special needs. 3. To be honest, I think he only has two reasons..ha!) do make sense to me in a way, however, when weighed against a child like my daughter lying in a crib for their entire lives, wasting away, unloved, forgotten, alone, it is very hard for me to find a good solid reason to say no. I'm burdened with these children's faces. I'm burdened with their stories. The burden isn't so much the problem. I am not always sure with what to do with that burden. Does God want me to adopt one of these children? Does God want me to advocate and raise money for them? Is that enough? Does God want me to leave it up to Him and just go about my life while praying for His will to be done? I wish I knew what His will was..........

Giveaway winner!

2010-02-13T13:59:00.002-06:00

Maria won! Maria, your package is on it's way! Have a great weekend everyone!

Want to win a P.S. I Love You dvd?

2010-02-04T09:42:00.006-06:00

Got any plans for Valentine's Day? This month on Reece's Rainbow there is a project for the 'Other Angels' (orphans with other special needs other than Down syndrome) I'm doing a giveaway of the movie P.S. I Love You which is the perfect love story to watch Valentine's Day weekend. All you have to do is donate $10 or more to a chip-in that is listed on this post. 100% of your tax deductible donation will go to Reece's Rainbow and will be split equally among these precious children. I'm asking for $10 or more because Paypal charges 30% for donations under $10! This will only be on my blog for a week. The drawing will be on Feb 11 so that I am able to mail the movie off in time. Thank you!

Simple Pleasures

2010-02-03T08:33:00.011-06:00

These are some things that just make me so happy!

Every time a family finds a child on Reece's Rainbow!

hearing a new name that I like

waking up to rain falling on our tin roof

Linden's gummy smile

Tristen's art

eating gooey sugar cookies straight out of the oven

getting to take longer than a 10 minute bath without interuption

My girls' smiles

popcorn with Ranch seasoning

getting a bag of hand-me-down clothes for the kiddos

waking up in the middle of the night and thinking it's morning but realizing it's only 2AM

getting a comment on my blog

Joe reaching to hold my hand for no reason

love letters

kisses on my forehead

cuddles with my baby girl first thing in the morning

seeing Linden have so much fun in her Jumperoo

a clean house

the smell of freshly cut grass

watching Joe so happy after his team wins

a Coke first thing in the morning

realizing that a prayer has been answered

meals made in the slow-cooker

people with Down syndrome

This picture

So, what are your simple pleasures?

Please consider Lera!

2010-02-02T07:53:00.003-06:00

This sweet girl has lost her adoptive family. She was within weeks of being sent to the institution when they stepped up to adopt her and for whatever reason cannot complete the adoption. Little Lera is so precious and will go to a place where she cannot be adopted out of if she is not saved.

Lera (4)

Girl, Born August 7, 2005

Russia
I LOST MY FAMILY!!
Lera is a gorgeous little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She is 4 years old. She is quite high functioning, and doing very well. She has flat feet and a systolic heart murmur, but no major heart conditions. She is able to walk and climb, she eats by herself, dances, and understands and follows directions. She has also been transferred to the regular class, so she living and learning with her typical peers.

She will be transferred soon to a place she can not be adopted out of, so please save Lera!
Adoption requirements at www.reecesrainbow.org/waitingchild2.html
SINGLE MOMS ACCEPTED!
Upfront costs: $3000 agency fee + homestudy
For more information please contact Andrea

She has $8,605 in her grant fund!!

Please consider Lera!

Mindy only has NINE days until transfer...

2010-01-21T08:36:00.003-06:00

If you are reading this right now and are ready to commit to a sweetie with Down syndrome, PLEASE consider Mindy from Russia.
Her time is in her baby home is running out.
She turns four in 9 days.
She desperately needs to be saved before she's transferred to a mental institution for ADULTS.
She's merely a baby.
She cannot be adopted out of the institution and will probably die within the first year.
PLease join me in praying that Mindy will be spared from that horrible place.

Doesn't she look like Linden?
Oh how I wish that my husband would say yes.....

Please Save Dennis!!!

2010-01-16T17:46:00.005-06:00

This sweet little boy has just lost the family who was adopting him. He is going to be transferred to the mental institution on his 4th birthday if someone doesn't come for him soon. Please, please pass the word on about him. He needs a USCIS paper ready family to save him in time. He also has a $5000 grant towards the cost of his adoption. Also, there is a sweet little boy named Alec that faces the same fate in June who also has a $5000 grant. Please consider one or both of these sweet boys!!

This is Dennis

Here is his listing on Reece's Rainbow. The picture of him isn't very good. The blue dots are medicine.

http://www.reecesrainbow.com/newsite/atriskwaiting.html

This is Alec who will be transferred in June 2010 if not adopted.

Zheyna just turned 3 but is at the same orphanage and is at risk as well. He has $1629 in his grant fund.

Tortilla Margherita Pizza- A meal for 5 under $10

2010-01-15T08:03:00.006-06:00

This is so quick and easy and my kids love it! Please excuse the not-so-great pictures. ;)

You'll need
flour tortillas (one for each pizza)
a can of petite diced tomatoes
jar of pesto sauce-I use Classico brand found at Wal-Mart for a little over $2
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Spread some pesto sauce on the tortillas. You only need about 3 tsp of it. A couple spoonfuls of the tomatoes is good, depending on what you like.

This is how it looks with the cheese before it's baked.

Bake the pizzas for at 450 degrees for 7-10 minutes. When the cheese is bubbling and is starting to get brown, it's done.

Enjoy! I always cut the kids up in 4 pieces.

Tristen

2010-01-04T21:36:00.002-06:00

I was taking a bath earlier and praying about what to write about on the blog and it just came to me - clear as day - TRISTEN! Tristen is my 7.5 year old stepdaughter. She's the oldest of our three. She turned five years old one week after Joe and I started dating. She and I don't always see eye to eye and we butt heads alot. See, she has a very strong personality and is very opinionated. She really believes that I should consider her opinions-on anything and everything! Really. In a way, this is one of her best qualities and in a way, her worst. I'm in a constant battle with her:

"Tristen, I do not need your opinion on what I'm going to eat tonight."
"Tristen, I do not need your opinion on whether or not I should wash the dishes now or later."

etc. etc. etc.....

I just want to yell "JUST BE A KID!!!"

See, she hasn't always had it easy. Her mom and dad got divorced when she was a year old and her dad (my husband) has had sole custody of her since then. Her mom has been in and out of her life and this has really confused Tristen. Her dad worked alot the first year he had her alone and she stayed with various relatives. He did the best he possibly knew how to do. He didn't feel like he had time for her to be a baby, so in alot of ways, he pushed her to grow up, perhaps a little too fast. I believe that she's not always sure how to react to situations because of this. Sometimes, she is SUCH a kid about things and other times, very grown up. She has told me before with a very straight face that if I were to leave her dad and move out that they would be fine. She said it with basically no emotion. And that really hurt me. She broke my heart that day. Did I mean nothing to her? I guess I had a bit of a childish reaction. I told myself that I wasn't going to allow myself to be hurt by a little six year old girl. I was just going to shut myself out from forming any bond with her. I was just going to co-exist.

Nope. Not the right answer. Ehhhhh. Wrong answer. After muuuuuch soul searching and praying, I came to the conclusion that I love my husband very much and I love my daughters very much and even if I was scared of Tristen hurting me, she really needs me. She needs a mom. Her walls that she had up blocking me out were just defense mechanisms so that she wouldn't have to be hurt over losing someone else, another mom. And in the last six or so months, our relationship is really getting better. She sees that I'm not. going. anywhere! I'm in for the long haul.

I want her to know that I love her. I want her to know that I'll always be there for her. I want her to read this when she's older and realize that everything that I'm doing for her is because she deserves it. She's worth the crying and screaming and yelling. (I'm the one doing all of those things. HAHA!) She is worth someone sticking around and loving her for who she truly is. It's not always easy, but the best things in life don't come without a cost.

She's a bright, smiley, loving, compassionate girl who LOVES digging in the garden for shiny rocks and slimy bugs. She loves to cook. She's really getting into reading books. She's very interested in coming to mass with me and is getting really good at learning her prayers. She makes a friend everywhere she goes and is a great big sister. Here are a couple pictures of her that I'd like to share.

I love you and I'm very proud of you!

Miss Bianca/Mama (depending on your mood lol)

Our children's purposes

2010-01-03T17:12:00.002-06:00

I'm reading this book right now and this page really spoke to me. I often for get that my children (living in my house now and children to come) are all gifts from God. They were only sent to me for a short while but they belong to God. This book was written in 1982 (before I was born) but it is very much up to date. God's word is never old.

This is an excerpt from the book A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming.

"Before I was pregnant with Matthew, I studied the lives of biblical women who had waited for a child. These women were Sarah, the mother of Isaac; Hannah, the mother of Samuel; Rebekah, the mother of Jacob; Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist; and Samson's mother. From my study, I gained a conviction that every child comes from God and ought to live for God's purposes.
Each of these women were initially barren. They waited and waited to conceive a child. Since failure to conceived a child was often considered a curse, they experienced torment and ridicule. All of them endured a painful wait. Two of them- Sarah and Elizabeth- reached old age before conceiving.
Was it really necessary for these women to experience the agony of a long wait? Yes, there was a purpose.
God had something special in mind. He wanted to give each of these mothers a special child-a child with a specific purpose-and He wanted to receive the glory. Everyone must know that God did it. The awe and wonder of conception is often lost on us especially since almost anyone can conceive- rich or poor, educated or uneducated, godly or ungodly. We can easily forget the part God plays in every birth.
But God did something special for each of these barren women. Their pregnancies bore the obvious sign of his intervention. They fully realized that God did it.
Unless a sense of wonder accompanies parenthood, we may either take our responsibility too lightly or else cling too tightly to our chilren. God knows that withholding children often produces a different mentality in a waiting mother or father to be.
I wonder if Abraham could have laid his son, Isaac, on the altar if the long wait had not prepared his heart. Would Hannah have given her beloved young son, Samuel, to God's service if he had come much earlier? Did the wait produce a conviction that Samuel came from God and should live for God's purposes, a conviction that she otherwise might now have experienced?
Perhaps another reason God allowed these mothers to endure a long wait was to lay a groundwork of prayer. They knew that these children were children of purpose and promise, and undoubtedly, each of them was much prayed for.
I, too, wanted the convictions of a mother who had waited on God, even though my wait was comparatively short. I prayed, "God, please give me the sense that these women had that this child will be from you and for you."

Urgent Plea for families for these children!

2009-12-12T08:55:00.003-06:00

URGENT PLEA!
Please Grab This Button!

URGENT PLEA!
Please Grab This Button!

URGENT PLEA!
Please Grab This Button!

URGENT PLEA!
Please Grab This Button!

Timmy, Ivan and Ruslana

2009-12-11T13:20:00.008-06:00

These sweet boys are listed on Reece's Rainbow. Both of them will be turning 4 years old soon and will be sent to the instution if not adopted by then.

Timmy (12)

BOY, Born February 22, 2006

SIGNIFICANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!!

Little Timmy has severe, untreated hydrocephalus, and this pressure is affecting his eyes. He is unable to see at this time, but he does have strabismus and cognitive delays resulting from the hydrocephaly. Surgery and a shunt will be a miracle for him. Please consider Timmy, he is facing the institution soon.

Ivan (12)

BOY, Born May 4, 2006

Ivan also has untreated hydrocephalus. He has strabismus, and cognitive and speech delay. He is not able to walk yet. But he is cute as a button and will blossom after surgery in a loving family environment! Ivan is also facing the institution soon, and can be adopted with Timmy and several other children with DS in this same orphanage.

Neither of the boys have any money in their grant funds, so even if you aren't in a position to adopt, you can still help. Every single penny that you give helps the family who is able to commit to them. They are from the same orphanage so they can be adopted together! They would make a sweet set of brothers, don't you think?

Also, after losing her family earlier this week and facing and imminent transfer to the institution, ANOTHER family has stepped up to bring Ruslana home! They do need your help though as adoption is very costly. They have 7 weeks to raise $25,000. Will you please help them? You can help them just by advocating and by prayer. Please visit their blog and put Ruslana's button on your blog.

Grab This Button

Two Year Anniversary

2009-12-10T10:39:00.003-06:00

Happy 2 years Joe!! I hope you like this! I love you very much.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

You never know who is listening

2009-12-05T18:34:00.005-06:00

On a message board about adoption, a woman was saddened to hear that one of the boys from the orphanage where she adopted her son aged out of the home and was no longer available for adoption. She said that he was such a pleasant person and her heart is hurting knowing that he'll most likely never have a 'real' family. In response, Shelley B. wrote something so beautiful and thought provoking and I wanted to share it with all of you.

"Man, oh man....I hear this EVERY single day...."you can't save them all".
But, what keeps my heart from completely breaking is "that one" and "this one" and "those 2".....each and every child that comes home. Over TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE kids because ONE little boy was born to an unsuspecting family and another little boy's photo stole that mama's heart and inspired her to put together a website and start a ministry. THAT is why I KNOW that advocating works.....that if we just keep talking, just keep showing the photos, sharing the facts and putting the information out there...it DOES make a difference.
There are days when my heart is overwhelmed with the burden...ONE HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN MILLION orphans....most who will never know the love of a family. I will be honest and tell you that I've had some very "real" conversations with God on this topic. But at the end of the day...at the end of every single day...I am thankful that God has opened my eyes and put this burden in my heart, because somebody has to keep talking.
You're right, advocating is the key. Just keep talking. You never know when someone is listening. I will always remember Milos.....how my heart was breaking on his birthday. I little boy who had survived that horrible institution and been moved to a better place...and because of a birthday was in danger of going back. When I wrote the email to the RR group on his birthday, I was in tears. I just kept talking. I had NO IDEA that the Stolz family was ready to adopt again. Yet, just 2 MONTHS later they are right in this moment in Serbia bringing Milos HOME! That's what keeps me going.

My advice, when you start feeling overwhelmed. ...when you feel like you'd rather just not know about all the kids out there who's situation seems hopeless.... go hang out on the home coming page of RR :) Nope, you can't save them all.....but you can remember them & you can keep talking.

Can you tell I'm leaving tomorrow? I'm a little emotional tonight!"

I can't help but smile when I read that and the part about her being thankful that God has opened her eyes and has put the burden of orphans in her heart REALLY speaks to me. I've seen so many children who were headed for death in a mental institution be saved by a family and they just blossom once they're home. It's amazing what love can do.

Remember, there is never a shortage of families who WANT these children, only a shortage of funds to get them home.

Please take 10 minutes to watch this video of Mary's first year home from Ukraine. It is AMAZING and INSPIRING to watch this sweet girl's transformation coming from the orphanage to her forever family.

$19,935

2009-12-01T16:15:00.005-06:00

Well, so far, I have raised $65 for Reece's Rainbow. I still need $19,935 to meet my goal. I'm hopeful that God will send the right people to my blog so that we can make the goal by Christmas. I have some other ideas for fundraising and the ONLY reason why some of hasn't been done yet is because my computer at home is SOOOO slllooooow.

I have these things in mind.

I offered to wrap Christmas gifts for family members and friends for a $25 donation to RR.
I'm having a garage sale at my house every Saturday in December.
I'm currently making a web page where I'll be selling a ton of stuff. (online garage sale)
For the locals, my mom and I are buying a Crawfish table and raffling it off for $1 a ticket.

Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Here are the kiddos that I'm raising the money for. I'm hoping to put half of whatever we make in each of their grant funds.

This is Shea. She has Down syndrome and the same heart defect that Linden has, AV canal defect. Linden's defect was corrected at 11 weeks old and Shea will 4 in January. It is extremely important that Shea gets adopted quickly as she's facing the institution. Once she gets in there, there's no way around it, she won't live very long. This precious girl longs for a family to love her. Isn't she beautiful?

A few months back, I was drawn to this beautiful girl, Anastasia, who just looks like she will make a wonderful daughter. When I sent the money that we made at Linden's birthday party for RR, it was applied to Anastasia without me asking for it to be! Amazing. I would LOVE to take this little girl as my own, but right now I'm just praying that she find a family. She has Down syndrome, too, is already 4.5 and hasn't been transferred to the institution, yet. She's been blessed so far, but it's only a matter of time. I pray that she finds a family soon [and secretly (or not so secretly...it depends on who you ask!) pray that it's us...shhh!] Doesn't she look like an older version of Linden?

Maxim is a precious little boy who has Pierre Robin syndrome. He's almost 4 and is risking institutionalization as well. What a sweet, sweet face this little boy has. I just loved that collared shirt. He looks like he's saying "I'll love you forever."

While your donations are VERY important, your prayers are just as important! Please keep these little guys as well as the Reece's Rainbow ministry in your daily prayers.

Thanks,

Bianca

I'm feeling inspired.....to raise $20,000 by Christmas!

2009-11-22T21:43:00.009-06:00

It's been quite awhile since I've last updated my blog. I'm updating tonight because I have something very important on my heart that I need to share. I'm constantly checking on 'my' babies on Reece's Rainbow. If you take a look, you'll see hundreds of orphans with Down syndrome and other special needs just waiting for a family. These sweet angels sent down from God to teach us what His love truly is. These babies live their whole lives not being wanted, kissed, loved, hugged, smiled at, sang to, read to, and basically being talked to like they are dumb because they have an extra 21st chromosome. If they aren't adopted by 4 years old, they are sent to a mental institution where 80% of them will die within the first year. This just breaks my heart.

I recently stumbled across this blog http://the30dayjourneyforhope.blogspot.com/. There are posts written by an 11 year old girl who is raising money for her family to bring home 1 year old, Darya from Russia. She's relying on faith in God to raise $20,000 by Thanksgiving! She gave herself 1 week for God to show them that nothing was impossible by putting her trust in HIM. The total of how much they've raised in 3 days will be announced tomorrow but from what I've read, they are very close to their goal. Isn't that amazing!?!?

I'm feeling inspired tonight. I'm thinking how easy it would be to raise money for Reece's Rainbow, myself. I bet that I can make $20,000 by Christmas! How amazing would that be for that money to be split up between several families so that more kids can be going home after the New Year! If every person who had read my blog donated $1, we would have over $11,000 right now!! Every single penny counts. Children's lives are on the line, here. So, I challenge you, if you feel compelled to give to a very worthy cause this Christmas, please email me at joeandbianca@yahoo.com. We have 33 days until Christmas! Ready.....set.......GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please watch this video and be inspired, too!!

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=9b08ab7214bb71b4b33e33&skin_id=1602

Bianca

UPDATE: I've added a DONATE button in the upper right hand of my blog to send money via Paypal.

Long time no see! An update post of sorts

2009-09-16T23:41:00.003-05:00

It's been over two weeks since I last posted. We've been crazy busy with school starting, homework in the afternoons, supper then trying to get the kiddos to bed. Mix in a couple physical therapy sessions, doctor's appointments, my every-other-day migraines, and you see how I can not find time to get on here. Here's a little update on the kids and I'll post another post with pictures soon!

Tristen is in 2nd grade and she's doing really well. The girl loves school. She has her routine down really well. She gets her school uniform out at night and makes her own lunch for the next day. She gets herself up at 6:00 AM and is usually dressed and completely ready by the time I [drag myself] up at 6:30AM. Yay!

Aislinn is in Kindergarten this year. She's totally my daughter--not a morning person at all. I'm usually dressing her while she's still sleeping, poor girl! She's also doing really well in school. Her teacher sent home a note last week that said "Aislinn is a pleasure to teach!" Yay, at least she's good in school. ;) Just kidding. She's missed the last three days of school, actually, because she's been running a fever. When the Tylenol kicks in, no more fever, but as soon as it wears off, she's not feeling too good. Today, I woke up with a migraine (so, what else is new?) and after I folded a batch of clothes, I couldn't stand it anymore so I asked Aislinn to watch Linden for me for a little while so I could rest in the dark. I put Noggin on and told her to just let Linden play on the floor. Well, I laid in bed for a little while the girls played together. My Excedrin Migraine finally kicked in and I was able to stand up without getting dizzy and got up to check on the girls. They were laying on the floor together and Aislinn was feeding Linden fruit puffs. Aislinn had gone in the closet, picked out an outfit, changed Linden's diaper, dressed her in the outfit she chose, put her hair in a ponytail and started feeding her! The only reason that I woke up was that Aislinn came into my bedroom to tell me that my alarm for Linden's meds was going off. She wanted to know if I wanted her to give Linden her medicine! I was so impressed!

Linden is now 12.5 months old! She had a procedure to open some blocked tear ducts on September 3 and all is well from that. We have a follow-up on Friday. I think she's finally gaining some weight! Her belly is getting rounder and she seems stronger. She's not yet sitting up on her own but she can definitely tolerate it for longer than before. She's really laughing and giggling at us now. She is pushing herself around in her walker (on purpose!). We started some solids last week but that really didn't agree with her belly and poor sweet girl was up half the night trying to poop. She was in alot of pain. I don't think it's time for solids on a regular basis, yet. Her big birthday party is this Sunday so I'll post lots of pictures then.

Today marks one year since my cousin Melanie died in a car accident. Her daughter, Kayla, died from injuries from the same accident 4 days later. If you don't mind, please say some prayers for Mel's sons, Rusty and Eric. Thanks.

Bianca

Sweet One

2009-09-02T00:00:00.001-05:00

Linden Caroline is ONE year old today! What an amazing year it has been!

School days

2009-08-24T10:18:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I've been slacking off a bit. The girls are now in school so I do have a bit more time to myself. Aislinn is in kindergarten and Tristen is in 2nd grade. They are both loving school so far and come home with some pretty funny stories. They ride the bus in the morning like 'big girls'. They look so cute in their school uniforms waiting for the bus to come, too! Here are some pictures of them on Thursday in khaki and white and on Friday in navy blue and white.

I got this one of Aislinn at her desk when I walked her to her classroom on her first day. Oh boy, did I cry when I had to leave. It's so bittersweet watching your baby grow up and trusting them in someone else's care. I know she's in great hands, though.

The countdown to Linden's birthday is still on. 8 days to go until LINDEN is 1!!

Oh, and Linden had her first experience with a lollipop and I wanted to show y'all. It was so cute and she was so sticky. Ha.

Thanks for reading!

Bianca

Cardiology update

2009-08-11T17:21:00.002-05:00

So we had a cardiologist appointment this morning. I had my neice, Mackenzie, watch the older girls (so that we wouldn't have a three ring circus going on) and my mom came along with me for support. We were very hopeful because Linden has seemed so much healthier in the last few weeks. The nurse weighed Linden and she gained 400 grams (14 oz) in 3 weeks which is a good weight gain for her. She now weighs 15lb9oz at 11.5 months old. Her pulse ox, EKG, and blood pressure all were good as well. When Dr. B walked in he jokingly said "Well, Mama's hair and nails are done, everything must be going well." I guess I looked like a hag before. (Ha! Just kidding!) He said that her pigtails were adorable and that she really looked fabulous. He listened to her heart with his stethescope and said that she sounded better, too. Awesome! She then had an echo done by her nurse Jackie. When Dr. B came back in the echo room, he studied Linden's results and said that she indeed did have 'mild to moderate' MR (mitral valve regurgitation) compared to her 'moderate to severe' MR in April. One of the ways that her drs in Boston tried to explain what could have happened was that possibly because of the two different machines being used here in La and there in Boston that they got different sets of pictures. UM NO! With my completely unprofessional eye, I saw for myself today on Dr. B's echo machine (where he found the MR in the first place) that her results from April and today are very different! I could see the two large jet of blood in the one from April and in today's they show that the jets are much smaller now, although they are still there. Dr. B apologized to us for sending us so far from home and said that he felt 'stupid' when he heard that she didn't need surgery. I told him that it was NOT a wasted trip at all and not to feel stupid. He and the drs in Boston all saw the same thing. God just chose to heal Linden's heart without her having to go through another surgery ;)

And she's off of Digoxin [and Lasix] now! Still on Sotalol (for SVT), Enalapril, and Asprin.

Thinking about things

2009-08-10T23:05:00.004-05:00

On a message board that I frequent (hey bggb!), we were posting about being a parent of a special needs child. It's obviously not for everyone. Before Joe and I were married, we talked about having another baby one day. I had a feeling about how our baby would be, but I didn't want to tell him because I was worried that he would think I was weird or silly. I ended up talking about it with my mom. I told her that I felt if Joe and I would have a baby together that something would be wrong with the baby, that the baby would be different. It didn't necessarily scare me to not want a baby with the man I was going to marry, however. It was so much on my mind that I felt the need to tell Joe, so I did. He kind of looked at me like 'huh?' and arched one eyebrow. I didn't make a big deal about it and never mentioned it again until many months later. May 20, 2008 to be exact. That was the day that we found out that we were having baby girl #3 and that she had a heart defect. The previous week, my routine bloodwork had come back with an elevated risk for Down Syndrome, so at this ultrasound he was looking for specific markers which could indicate a higher/lower risk for Trisomy 21. He found that she had a short nasal bone which was a pretty positive indication for a chromosomal abnormality. He insisted that we have an amnio, but we opted out of that due to the risk for miscarriage. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't make her heart defect go away or change anything about her. We wanted her no matter what.

Joe brought up what I said many months earlier and strangely enough, it brought me more of a sense of peace rather than sadness. 3.5 months later when our precious girl came into this world in the middle of a hurricane (I had to be cleaned up while Joe held a flashlight for the nurse!), I felt completely validated in how I felt. I felt like Linden was always supposed to be here, with me. I felt like I had been chosen to be her mother long before she was even conceived. God is always in control. He sees the past, the present, and the future. He knew everything that was going to happen to Linden thus far. He knew that she would touch people. Linden may not always fit perfectly in this world, but she wasn't created for this world. I truly believe that she was sent to us so that God could perform this miracle and show us that He's still here. He still loves us.

We're seeing the cardiologist tomorrow morning for the first time since Boston. Please pray with us for continued good news.

Something nice to read is The Creed of Babies with Down Syndrome. (I do not know who the author is.)
My face may be different
But my feelings the same
I laugh and I cry
And I take pride in my gains
I was sent here among you
To teach you to love
As God in the heavens
Looks down from above
To Him I'm no different
His love knows no bounds
It's those here among you
In cities and towns
That judge me by standards
That man has imparted
But this family I've chosen
Will help me get started
For I'm one of the children
So special and few
That came here to learn
The same lessons as you
That love is acceptance
It must come from the heart
We all have the same purpose
Though not the same start
The Lord gave me life
To live and embrace
And I'll do it as you do
But at my own pace

Bianca

Our family!!

2009-08-10T18:03:00.001-05:00

Here's a recent picture of all of us. I'm going to write a blog later on tonight, so be looking for it tomorrrow!!

A Granny's Point of View

2009-07-29T16:32:00.003-05:00

This was written for me by my mother. It's her version of Linden's miracle!

My story about Linden's miracle begins a few weeks ago...We knew when Linden's surgery was set for and of course, we had prayers and support from the beginning, though way too much time to think about it all, I guess. Anyhow, I spent almost the whole afternoon of July 2 and all of July 3 nursing fears for Linden, even though I had been praying, and nothing had really changed with her. This feeling of doom made me very emotional and sad, apparently, I was not good at hiding my feelings either. I attended morning mass on Friday, July 3 in search of consolation from the Lord. After mass, we were invited to receive a blessing associated with a relic of St. Thomas Aquinas. Fr. Sibley showed concern for my sadness and even offered to come to Boston for the surgery. He said he would ask for prayers for Linden at all of the weekend's masses. My friend Jonel stayed after mass and talked to me for nearly an hour. We talked and talked and she made a profound offering to me that I had never heard before. She told me that I should make a trade with God, offer him something of myself and that I should ask for the whole thing..."don't hesitate, pray for a miracle," she insisted. Then she drew me the most beautiful mental picture. I will try to quote her directly now (remember we were both sniffling and blinking back tears at this point): She told me, "You know, there are people around the world that pray all day long: nuns, monks, priests, old people...sometimes their prayers are not for anything in particular. I am going to go home and ask God to take all of the 'loose prayers' around the world and gather them up for Linden." I was, and still am touched by such a unique expression of prayer. I found this idea so profound. I pictured God's hand waving through the air like a butterfly net scooping all of these airborne, hazy, undulating Our Fathers and Hail Marys and bringing them to his heart and whispering Linden's name. Later that morning, Bianca and I had a long talk about and she opened up about her fears. I tried to comfort her, but I too was afraid. All I could do was relay Jonel's message of prayer to Bianca. Linden's beautiful name was spoken out loud by the priests at masses at St. Ann's church that weekend. The congregation at New Hope Fellowship (Joseph's church from childhood) also prayed for Linden. Many of the people of New Hope had been praying for Linden for weeks by then. She had had prayers for her offered by our youth group, as well. She was well covered in prayer.

On Monday, I began a week of catechism classes, I was teaching sixth grade. It was the best week. The teachers enjoyed it, the kids enjoyed it. We all learned so much and were joined together in church daily to worship and share in daily mass. Each day the children seemed more and more interested in the mass. The groups had been given the opportunity to ask for prayers for certain needs and, of course, Linden was mentioned often that week. At some point in that week, I remember getting a text from Bianca that her fears had gone away and she was certain that Linden was going to be fine. I, too, had experienced a sense of calmness. Surely, this consolation was from the Holy Spirit. After such a beautiful week, its no surprise that I woke up early one day in the next week with inspiration as my alarm clock. For some reason, out of the blue, I woke up and my first thought was about The Infant of Prague. The image of Jesus as a child/king with a flowing gown, a crown on his head and holding the earth in his hand is an old Catholic symbol of miracles. I had grown up seeing my mother's statue of the Infant of Prague on her dresser and was facinated by the sweetness of the baby's face. I always loved dolls and so was naturally drawn to the statue. I never really knew very much about the statue and its representation of miracles and conversion. I did know that the statue had been given to my mother by her mother in law at a negative time in my parents early years of marriage. Ironically, I live in the house of that grandmother now. My grandmother was very religious and I suppose she had encouraged my mother to pray to the Infant Jesus of Prague to help her in her needs. I have no explanation for my sudden awakening with the Infant of Prague on my mind on that particular morning, however. I surmise now that my mother and grandmother joined together and asked the Holy Spirit to guide me through baby Linden's ordeal using the consolation of the Infant Jesus. So I proceeded to Google information about the Infant of Prague and what the story was behind this devotion. To make it short as possible, the veneration of the Infant of Prague has been attributed with many miracles and conversions for centuries. There are several prayers and novenas directed to the Infant of Prague. One in particular caught my attention. (I had discovered a beautiful nine-hour novena card way back in April and had purchased the card especially for Linden's day of surgery) Much to my surprise, when researching the Infant of Prague, I once again came across this nine-hour novena and found that it was to be prayed specifically to the Infant of Prague. This really struck me as a "wow" moment. Everything seemed tied together somehow and now I knew that my mom and grandmother had been working in heaven together for quite sometime. I brought all of this information together and presented Bianca with this story of exciting turn of events, along with a small statue of the Infant that had been in my store (ignored!) for an undetermined amount of time.

Skip to the days of the non surgery! I brought Bianca and Joseph to New Orleans to catch their plane on Wednesday and off they went. Kirk, Kip, Aislinn and I left Thursday afternoon with Boston as our destination. Of course, I said many prayers along the way. I had heard from Bianca on that day that the tests Linden had undergone that day showed improvement in her condition, and the doctor was puzzled... LOL! Bianca said that MAYBE Linden may not need the surgery... dare we breathe....

We slept somewhere in Tuscalusa, Alabama that night. When we began driving on Friday morning, I began the nine-hour novena. Needless to say, our prayers were answered before the novena was completed! By midmorning, Bianca called and said that they were being DISCHARGED that day! No surgery! When I started the novena, it was to ask for something and I completed the novena with expressions of gratitude to the Lord for the miracle.We did not go to Boston, we went to visit Gianna, Brady and Jack in Erie, instead. By the time we got back to Mamou, word of our miracle had been spread. Everywhere I went, people acknowledge the event as miraculous. Everyone felt like they had been part of the miracle because they had participated in prayers, fundraisers and other aspects of Linden's story. I felt compelled to tell everyone about the miracle.

Bianca and Joseph remained in Boston until the Tuesday.After picking them up at the airport on Tuesday, we went to a restaurant in Metairie for lunch. We marveled at this turn of events. I guess we must have been glowing. A couple of ladies were sitting at the table next to us and noticed our Linden. They made comments about her throughout our meal. Everyone loves a precious baby, you know, and Linden was gorgeous in a scrumptious pink outfit. The ladies had made enough overtures towards her while I held her that I had to tell them the news.One of the ladies commented on Linden's blue eyes and one thing led to another and I told them about her special week.I said that she was just back from Boston from not having surgery!Obviously touched by this, one of the ladies asked, "Had ya'll prayed to Saint Jude?!"I said, "We prayed to Saint Jude for her first surgery, but for this surgery we prayed the novena to the Infant of Prague..."The other woman gasped and said, "Oh, I love the Infant of Prague!" After this, she thrust her hand forward to show us her INFANT OF PRAGUE RING!!! on her finger! I have to tell you, I did plenty of searching for Infant of Prague products and never once had I seen a ring...In two total strangers, the Lord sent us another sign of his continuing watchful gaze. I am certain that He is not finished using Linden Caroline Olivier to bring even more people closer to Him. Infant to infant.

Have you ever witnessed a miracle?

2009-07-25T22:20:00.004-05:00

I can say for sure that I have.

My daughter, Linden, is a living, breathing, smiling miracle. Two months ago, her cardiologist sat me down in a room and told me that Linden's had a lot of mitral valve regurgitation (leakage) and that she would need another surgery, soon. He told me that in 6-9 months her heart just wouldn't be good anymore. He had two patients (Linden included) whose heart anatomy was as complicated as Linden's and the other patient didn't make it. I left that appointment feeling so low. She had her first open heart surgery last November, in Boston, at 11 weeks old, but she's just been so healthy that it seemed like she was fine. Her heart told otherwise. A copy of the images from her echocardiogram was sent to her cardiologist in Boston and after reviewing them, he agreed with her cardiologist here that scheduling surgery was the next step.

A few days later I was on the phone with a Sherry from Dr. Breitbart's office in Boston scheduling everything that we would be doing while there. Linden would be having pre-op bloodwork, an EKG, an Echo, and a chest x-ray on Thursday, July 16, and a heart catheterization procedure the following day. Her mitral valve repair was scheduled for Monday, July 20. Sherry told me what to do and what not to do before procedures like not eating 4 hours before the Echo because she would be sedated and 4 hours before her heart cath.

We got to Boston on Wednesday, July 15. My friend, Kelly, picked us up at the airport and brought us to our home for the next couple of weeks, The Devin Nicole House. It's a nice place to stay that the hospital offers to families of cardiac patients. After getting settled in, we took a walk around Boston. We passed in front of Harvard Medical School and it became real to me where we were. I had spent the last few weeks crying and praying that God would heal Linden's heart through the hands of her surgeon and yet here we were, in Boston, at one of the top children's hospitals in the nation. I needed to have faith in our situation, in the doctors and surgeon in charge of her care, and most importantly, in God as He had the last word.

Linden did NOT sleep well at all that first night. For some reason, the dark, quiet room made her very hyper! She was up from 11pm-4:30am yelling, talking to herself, flipping over and scratching the sides of her pack'n'play. It was mighty crazy. Haha. I kept hoping that eventually she would fall asleep as I was nursing her, but no, it did not work. Needless to say, Joe and I were exhausted the next day for her pre-operative testing at 7am. Joe and I were like zombies. Linden had bloodwork, an EKG, a chest x-ray and while we were trying to keep her awake for her sedated echo, she fell asleep. Perfect timing, kiddo. She had to be woken up to get chloral hydrate (meds that made her just sleepy enough to lie still) before her echo. She took it and fell back asleep. Her nurse encouraged Joe and I to go get some lunch while she had her echo done because it would take over an hour and we hadn't eaten breakfast yet. While we ate lunch in the cafeteria, neither of us could stop thinking about Linden. We were hoping that they wouldn't find anything else that was wrong and that things would at least have stayed the same and not gotten worse since her last echo 6 weeks before.

Thinking back now, those last couple of weeks before we went to Boston were so hard on me. I was torn between God's will and my own. What if His will was different than what I wanted? Handing over my fears and my Linden was what I needed to do, but was it ever hard to do. I wasn't sleeping well. I wasn't eating well. I lost some weight. I was cranky all the time. Anything and everything made me burst into tears. One day, my sister-in-law came over with a card from a priest friend of a friend and as I opened it up and read the words "Praying for your strength to accept God's will," I turned into a sobbing mess. I couldn't lose my baby. I just couldn't.

Joe and I held hands and walked back up to the Echo room and as we sat down, I saw three people looking at two images on the screen. I could hear some murmuring and 'mmmhmm's', 'hmmmmm's' but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. They were done, though. Linden had slept the whole time so they were able to get some really good images, they told us. Dr. Breitbart asked Joe if he had a record of Linden's weight gain and I got worried when I heard that. I started thinking that it must have been worse than it was before otherwise why would he be asking that question. We were moved into another room, where Dr. Breitbart and his partner Dr. Caine came in to speak to us about their findings.

"I have somewhat good news," he said, "it seems that Linden's echo today revealed that her leaking valves have slowed down quite a bit since 6 weeks ago."

Joe and I were very confused and asked what that meant.

"We compared her images from today to her images from post-op last November and from the end of May and her image from today is almost identical from November's. From what I see today, it seems like she's gone from a small chance that she won't have surgery to a small chance that she will need surgery. Dr Caine and I are very, very puzzled, though, and we need to go over the images again so we'll have to meet up later and discuss this again. Can you meet me in my office around 4:00? Let's try not to get our hopes up because we do want to do what's best for Linden."

I had a HUGE grin on my face. So did Joe! Linden soon woke up and nursed and then we walked around the hospital for a while trying to waste some time. We had two hours until we were to meet with him again.

Dr. Breitbart walked in with somewhat of a grin on his face. He said that he had gone over all of Linden's images with the Chief of Radiology and Linden's surgeon, Dr. John Mayer, and they all came up with the same conclusion. Linden's heart was BETTER than 6 weeks previous. He said that her condition doesn't get better without surgical intervention, but somehow, some way, Linden's had. Her heart had corrected itself. He did want to go on with doing the heart catheterization procedure the following day to be sure, but just by the look on his face we could tell that he was feeling pretty sure about what he was saying about her possibly not needing surgery.

Joe and I went back to our room at the Devin Nicole House and talked. I just had this overwhelming feeling of peace no matter what was going to happen. We had gone there expecting surgery, so we couldn't necessarily be disappointed if she did end up needing it, but to go home without surgery would be absolutely amazing. I just kept saying, "Whatever happens, we'll be fine. Whatever Linden needs is what she'll get." It didn't hurt either that the news came on the 9 year anniversary of the death of Joe's mom, Carol, who Linden CAROLine is named after. She was definitely watching over Linden and whispering into Jesus' ear that day!

I called my mom and told her what happened that day. She and my dad were driving from Louisiana to Boston and were in Alabama when I talked to her. I told her not to freak out, (she does that from time to time.....haha) but I had some news that I was bursting to just tell someone. When I told her that it was a possiblilty, that Linden wouldn't even need surgery, she burst into tears and said "I changed my prayer today! I have been praying that she would be fine during and after surgery, but then I said 'No, my God is bigger than this, I want a miracle. I pray that she doesn't even have to have surgery." I told her to keep it a secret until we knew for sure. We would know by noon the next day.

Friday morning we woke up around 5:30 and were at the hospital by 7:30 am for Linden to be admitted for her catheterization. She went in around 8:30 and at 10:00am we got a report from her nurse, that she was doing great and they were measuring the pressures in her heart and that they would call us in another hour. I was so exhausted that I rested my head on Joe's shoulder and I guess I feel asleep because the next thing I noticed was Joe nudging me saying "Wake up" and I woke up to Dr Breitbart smiling at us.

He said "It's good news. Linden did great. Everything went fine and I'm very pleased with the measurements. She's fine. We don't need to do surgery at this time! Let her wake up, then she can nurse and then she'll be discharged."

I cannot explain to you the weight that was lifted off of my heart at that moment. Not only did my Jesus come through, he exceeded what was asked of him. All along, I had been praying these words, "Please God, heal Linden's heart through the hands of her surgeon." It NEVER had occured to me to pray for a miracle, for her not to even need surgery. What I heard from her cardiologist in La was so doom and gloom that was asking for what I thought was the bare minimum, just for her to be OK after surgery. I prayed that it would be her last surgery. I am still [almost 2 weeks later] in awe about this.

At 2:00 PM, on Friday, July 17, exactly 8 months since her first open heart surgery, Linden was DISCHARGED from Children's Hospital without needing surgery!!!!!!!!

We called all our friends and family and told them the good news, about our MIRACLE baby. Everyone was in complete awe! Our prayers had been answered and then some! Joe's sisters and brother were flying in on the Sunday-Tuesday for her surgery and didn't want to lose money on the tickets, so they came anyway and we did a bit of celebrating! Instead of being cooped up inside a hospital worried sick about Linden, we were able to enjoy her and enjoy each other for a couple days. How can people still question whether or not there is a God in a situation where something just CANNOT be explained other than it being all about HIM?!

*I'm sorry that it took me SO long to get this posted. EEK. I had alot to say!*

Now, for the pictures.

Sitting in a coffee shop the day before her cath.

Got lashes?!!?

Falling asleep before her ECHO. We tried hard to keep her awake.

Smiles for Daddy

In front of Harvard Medical School

We're in Boston!

2009-07-16T16:08:00.003-05:00

Finally, a new post from me! Joe, Linden and I are in Boston. We arrived at 1:30 and a friend of mine, Kelly, picked us up at the airport and we were at the Devin Nicole House by 2:00. Once we got settled in, it was nice enough outside to go for a walk. I was wearing jeans and actually wished that I was wearing shorts. It was in the high 70s. We walked in front of Harvard and tooks some pictures of Linden in front of it. We totally looked like tourists. Haha. I don't have the cables to upload those pictures online yet, but I'm going to share some pictures from Linden's car wash two weeks ago that was put together by her Uncle Luke.

Today was Linden's pre-operative testing. She had a chest x-ray, bloodwork, an EKG and an Echo all done by noon. I think she did pretty well considering she hadn't nursed since 6:00AM. She did have two drops of Pedialyte at 8:00 but she doesn't 'do the bottle' well so didn't get much from that. ;)

Tomorrow will be her heart catheterization procedure. It's necessary because it will give the cardiologist and surgeon a better idea of how her blood flows through her heart and how well it is pumping. The doctor will insert a thin plastic tube (catheter) into the artery in the crease of her leg. From there, it will be advanced into her heart chambers or coronary arteries. They will measure blood pressure within the heart and how much oxygen is in her blood as well. It's also very useful in finding out how useful her pumping ability is. This procedure has a relatively low risk of anything going wrong, but she will be under anesthesia so we would appreciate your prayers for tomorrow. Based on this heart cath, doctors will determine how to correct her valve leakage.

Here are the pictures from her car wash on July 1.

Linden's car wash

2009-06-30T22:50:00.004-05:00

Our friends and family washed about 30 cars this past Saturday! It was very successful. We are so thankful for all of you (Rhiannon, Billy, Mackenzie, Conner, Micah, Leah, Stephanie, Hunter, Brock, Paulette, CJ, Salvadore, Kip, Andrea, Tim, Luke, Nathan, Nathanael, and everyone else who came and got their car washed) helped make it happen. We are so blessed to have so much support!

Here are a couple of pictures taken by Mackenzie. I realize that three of the pictures are of one vehicle, but we did have more than that I promise. ;)

Luke (Joe's brother) stood by the road reeling people in.

My awesome Sister In Law Rhiannon

Linden just waking up from her nap and seeing a bunch of people looking at her.

Alexis

Allison

Bianca

Farsighted

2009-06-25T22:48:00.004-05:00

Yes, that's right. Linden is farsighted and had to get glasses. I think she looks adorable and stylish. Here are a couple pictures of her right after she put them on for the first time. She just stopped and looked around the room and at us very slowly, taking it all in. We had to hold her hands down so she wouldn't grab them. She's gotten better at keeping them on since she got them on Monday.

She's been so healthy looking lately. I bet it's all the prayers! Thank you Jesus! She's been bearing weight on her feet, standing for awhile while I hold her hands. She's been grabbing at our faces and pulling them towards her to kiss which is so cute!!! Her spunky personality is really shining through.

Linden's 9 month IFSP meeting

2009-06-17T23:57:00.002-05:00

Linden is in a state run early intervention program called Early Steps. She qualifies because she has Down Syndrome and Amniotic Band Syndrome (what caused her little hand). Every month, Mrs. Claire comes over and checks her out to see if she's developing physically and cognitively as she should.

Last month we made the following goals for Linden at 9 months:

Sitting for short periods of time
Reaching to grab a small toy from someone else's hand
Reaching out with her left hand (smaller hand)
Bearing weight on her legs

As of today, 9.5 months, she has met all of her 9 month goals!!! I am so proud of my sweet girl. Even though, her medicines make her very tired and she's just plain worn out, she is still meeting her goals and surprising her teacher! She sat on her own for 8 seconds today and that's a record for her. See, when she sits, she either throws herself back or dives down to her feet.

Here's Linden standing up on Daddy's lap.

And for your viewing pleasure, some rare pictures of ALL THREE girls together!

Also, for those of you who have blogs and would like to put Linden's prayer button in your blog, just cut and paste this picture. Sweet Crystal, from Presh Web Designs, is a fellow heart mama of Bentley.

Love you all! Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Love,
Bianca and Joe

I've created a message board

2009-06-14T13:52:00.003-05:00

For all my family and friends! Please email me at joeandbianca@yahoo.com for the link! It would be fun to have somewhat of a live chat with all of you!

I hope you're all having a happy Sunday!

-Bianca

2009-06-13T22:34:00.009-05:00

I've been wanting to get a shot of Linden from behind for so long.

See her ears?
Don't they remind you of butterfly wings?

No, she wasn't facing down when I took the picture.
No, she wasn't trying to eat the grass.
Ok, maybe she was.

A little.

Ok... A LOT.

LOVE

KISSING

HER

BUTTERFLY

EARS!

Welcome to Holland

2009-06-12T20:51:00.005-05:00

I'm sure some of you have read this poem before, so this is for those of you who haven't.

It's all about being the parent of a special needs child. I read this poem quite often and it gives me a little reminder about how special Joe and I are to have been chosen to be Linden's parents. You've been chosen as well, to be her friends, her family. Grab a Kleenex!
_____________________________________________________________

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I scream for Ice Cream!

2009-06-12T01:24:00.003-05:00

"What was that!?!?"

"Who cares? Just give it back to me!"

"This is the best stuff ever, Mama!"

After the ice cream bar, but before the bath.

We're 'All Set'

2009-06-11T11:45:00.007-05:00

I heard that phrase about 100 times last time we were in Boston and heard it again this morning, so I had to use it.

We'll, Linden's surgery is scheduled. At the same time, I'm scared out of my mind and yet, relieved because this is our little girl's only chance at seeing her first birthday.

I just talked with Sherry from Dr. B in Boston's office. We need to be there on July 15th in order to be at our 7Am outpatient workup on July 16th. That's when they'll do an echo, ekg, and bloodwork. On Friday, July 17th, she'll be having a cardiac catheterization procedure at 7am. She will stay overnight and be discharged on Satuday. Monday July 20th at 6:30 Am we need to be at the hospital for her surgery. She has to stop her baby asprin one week before on July 12 and if she gets sick less than a week before her surgery we need to call them to postpone surgery.

We have been told that this surgery will not be as long (longest 7 hours of my life) or as complex at her AV canal repair last November. It's pretty straightforward from the surgeon's point of view and they seem to have a good idea as to what they'll be doing once she's in there.

Here's a cute picture of Tris and Linnie from the other day. See the redness under Linden's eyes that I was talking about before?

Thanks for checking in on us!

Bianca

~Thought for the day~
All is well. I'm ready for whatever comes today. My yesterdays have prepared me.

To all of you who called/texted/emailed me today

2009-06-10T22:58:00.008-05:00

I apologize for not getting back to you. I'm just really sorting through some emotions and it's painful to talk about it right now. I have so much going through my mind. Please forgive me and soon I'll be getting back to you.

Thank you for your patience and your prayers!

Love you,

Bianca

~Thought for the day~
I can't be everywhere today. Nor can I attend to the needs of everybody I meet. I will carefully choose where to give my attention and then offer it totally.

Linden will be having surgery soon.

2009-06-10T09:46:00.006-05:00

It looks like Linden will be having her 2nd open heart surgery before her first birthday.

We had a cardiology appointment yesterday and unfortunately it wasn't the best news. I had a bad feeling when Linden was weighed and she had lost around 2 lbs in a month. That's never good. Dr. B. walked in and said the usual "Questions, comments, concerns?" and I answered back that I simply don't like the way Linden is looking nowadays. I mentioned how her eyes are a purplish red underneath and she's kind of sluggish and tired looking, too. I said how Joe and my mom noticed it because they're not around her 24/7 like I am. It was a drastic difference when she was put on Enalapril and Digoxin, too. She just simply isn't herself. After I finished explaining that, Dr. B asked me how old I was. I thought it was a weird question, but I answered "24" and he said "You're a very good mama" and then he handed me his Blackberry and told me to read the email from her cardiologist in Boston (where she had her first surgery, AV Canal Repair). I started reading and saw "It would be in Linden's best interest to schedule a mitral valve repair as soon as possible" and then everything else after that was a blur. There were lots of medical terms that I just didn't understand.
Dr. B was unusually stone-faced while talking to us about the risks of surgery. He said that he has only had two patients, including Linden, in his whole practice who have had this complicated of anatomy, and the other patient did not survive. I felt a huge lump forming in my throat when he said that. He said that in another 6-9 months her heart wouldn't even be good anymore. I felt all of the blood rushing to my feet at that moment. It's like I couldn't believe that we were talking about my baby, my sweet Linden Caroline. It's a risky surgery as the wall behind where the surgery will be taking place is close to the circulatory system. Here is a very good website describing the surgery she will be having.

Dr. B from Boston will be calling me sometime this week to schedule a date.

I'll be posting updates about everything going on with us on this site instead of calling everyone one by one.

Thank you for your support and prayers during this time.

Bianca

~Thought for the day~
Well-being, my own and someone else's, will be fostered by my actions today.

April Rose is not real!

2009-06-09T07:49:00.003-05:00

I previously mentioned April Rose here. For months I've been praying, I've gotten my friends and family to pray and for what..... a DOLL? The original blog is now gone as is all of her 'friends' blogs.

Check out this blog that exposed the April Rose scam.

http://gibsontwins.blogspot.com/2009/06/exposed-little-april-rose-scam.html

I love days like this

2009-06-06T00:45:00.003-05:00

We had a really great day today! My house is CLEAN. My kids behaved WELL. We sat down tonight and watched the LSU baseball game as a family. (Geaux Tigers!) It was so cute listening to my husband explain what a foul ball is to the girls. They ask so many questions!! They wanted to know every detail and Joe was so good about getting them to understand. Then we all watched him play the drums. There was lots of dancin', head bangin', and extremely shrill screamin'. Haha!

And because I'm suuuuch a procrastinator, I'm just getting around to telling my daughter happy birthday. I'm only 1 week late. Oops.

Happy Birthday my sweet Aislinn Frances!!

You have made my life so wonderful since you came into it. I love you Aisey Pie Pie! I cannot believe that you are 5 years old. It seems like yesterday when I held you in my arms for the first time. I am so blessed to have you in my life!

I love this candid shot of Aislinn with vanilla ice cream on her face taken last weekend.

Wrapped around Daddy's finger

2009-06-05T00:02:00.003-05:00

Can you feel the love or what?!?! She was holding his face and kissing him. It was just the sweetest thing. All together now, "Awwwwwwwww!!"

The girl has heart! Part 1!

2009-06-04T23:01:00.005-05:00

There are two types of Atrioventricular Canal Defect, partial and complete. The partial form only involves the two upper chambers of the heart and the complete form allows blood to flow freely among all four chambers. They both allow extra blood to flow to the lungs. Linden was diagnosed with complete AV canal defect when I was 20 weeks pregnant. My quad-screen that I had done at 18 weeks came back with an elevated risk for Down Syndrome, so my OB scheduled a Level II ultrasound with a maternal-fetal doctor. I wasn't really worried about it because I knew that test had a chance of being wrong and I was only 23! At that appointment, the doctor was looking anything that could be considered a soft marker for Down Syndrome and that's how he discovered what was wrong with her heart. 50% of people with DS have heart defects. She happened to be one of the 50%. We were extremely worried about the fact that our small baby would need such a huge surgery soon after she was born. It was suggested that I have an amnio to rule out any chromosomal abnormalities, but that came with a risk of miscarriage and we already loved our daughter more than anything so we continued on focusing on finding a team of doctors to care for her after she was born.

After that appointment, I started doing tons of online research about what to expect. Poor weight gain, cyanosis, fatigue, difficulty breathing, and lack of appetite were some of the side effects of her particular defect. I was so sad that I was going to have this sick baby. I pictured a skinny sickly baby. I had dreams where she stopped breathing and turned blue. It was awful. At least I had about 5 more months research this and prepare for her. We ended up finding a wonderful pediatric cardiologist that made me feel so much better about putting my daughter in his care.

Linden was born September 1, 2008 at 37 weeks gestation (5lbs 9.2oz) right in the middle of Hurricane Gustav (I will post my birth story later). She came out very pink and screaming! They whisked her off to the NICU to run tests and to give her an echocardiogram to make sure all was the same with her heart and according to them, it was.

Part 2 will follow soon.

One of those days

2009-06-03T23:33:00.005-05:00

I get excited over the silliest things! I just spent a whole hour typing in my Coke reward points so that I can get some 'free' magazine subscriptions. I can only type in 40 codes in one week---120 points and I typed in my limit. It's the first time that I got to sit down and rest all day, well unless you count the fact that I was so tired of my two older kids fighting and yelling 'MOOOOOMY' every 15 seconds, soI sat on the front porch in the rain for like 10 minutes this afternoon. I was relaxed there for a minute, but it was no different when I went back inside. I think the summertime makes kids [who, in turn, make their mothers] a little crazy.

And to top it off, my sweet little Linden got her first scratch today. She was playing with her sisters on the floor and somehow got a scratch on her face. Poor little girl was heartbroken, as were her mommy and sisters.

What's a post without a picture? Bathing suit and cap are from Gymboree's Pool Party Line.

Nine

2009-06-01T22:00:00.004-05:00

Someone is NINE months old today!!

She found her feet last week and has been chewing on them ever since. She had been trying and trying to get them to her mouth and she finally did. She also loves hanging out in her swing! She's roughly 15 lbs and 23.75 inches (5th percentile for both). She's very petite. She's still nursing and is not too keen on solid foods, yet, but she has tasted sweet potatoes, sweet peas, pears, peaches, bananas, and oatmeal. She is such a delight and we love her more every single day!

Here are a couple pictures of her enjoying a Froot by the Foot wrapper.

She melts my heart!

2009-05-28T16:20:00.002-05:00

I love my baby's smile!

i LOVE my baby's smile!

i love MY baby's smile!

i love my BABY'S smile!

i love my baby's SMILE!

I cannot think of a title for this post

2009-05-25T13:19:00.009-05:00

We're over here enjoying our long weekend. I love when my husband is home from work and we can hang out. Right now it's 1:28PM and all three girls are down for naps! Yay!

Aislinn's 5th birthday party was on Saturday and my nephew Jack's 2nd was on Sunday. We had lots of fun this weekend.

I'm in kind of a funk right now, worrying about Linden's heart, dreading the start of summer---officially starts tomorrow. Waaaaaaaah!!! I'm really wanting to do something different in our house. We're renting right now and sometimes it doesn't feel like home to me, just a place where we're staying. It looks like we'll be here for a while, so I really want to do some personal touches with it like paint the living room walls. Currently, they're taupe, and I'm a more bright fun color kind of person. Our couches, walls, furniture, floor are all brown. Also, most of it was my husband's furniture from before we got married, so I would love to have some of my own things as well. The only thing that is 'mine' is our kitchen table which he really doesn't like. It's too 'old fashioned' he says. I say it's classic. We differ. Haha. Anyways, I'm thinking something like a butter yellow in the living room because I'm pretty sure that 'Brown man' will agree to that as it's not a drastic change.
I would love to be able to change the floor in the kitchen because it's orange, yellow, and brown lineoleum. Doesn't that sound so beautiful?!? Right from the 70s, so it hasn't been changed in 30 + years! Yeah, um, time for some new flooring, eh?

I'll post pictures when we actually do paint the living room, but for today it's just a sweet picture of Aislinn looking so much like me when I was her age.

Bianca

Baby Faith Hope's family

2009-05-24T00:54:00.002-05:00

Sweet and beautiful Faith Hope passed away today. My heart broke in two when I read Myah's latest post. She will not be forgotten. I read the blog everyday and Faith brought a special joy to my life. I pray that Myah will find peace in this.

www.babyfaithhope.blogspot.com

Appointment update!

2009-05-22T08:23:00.012-05:00

Well, the prayers are STILL working!! I have good news and bad news. The good news is that there is no more and no less valve leakage in Linden's heart. The bad news is there is no more and no less valve leakage in Linden's heart. That means that the medicines are still working, but there still is quite a bit of leakage. Linden is currently on 5 medications-- Enalapril, Sotalol, Asprin, Lasix and Digoxin.

To everyone who comes in contact with her mentions how she doesn't seem like a sick baby, but there are some things that I've noticed about her, especially since starting the Enalapril and the Digoxin and getting back on Lasix. She used to have good muscle tone, but since those meds, she's been alot weaker. Her legs, at times, are very floppy. She was working on standing up when being held, but now I'm lucky if she has enough strength to play in her excersaucer. Her eyes have very dark circles underneath and they're always tearing up. Sometimes, at night, she will toss and turn for hours until she finally falls asleep. I believe that the Lasix does that to her because it starts happening within the day when she starts on Lasix. *she's been on it 3 times since November*

First or Last

2009-05-22T08:16:00.002-05:00

However you look at it, today is both a first and a last.
It's the last day of first grade for Tristen! It's the first day of summer!
We have lots of fun activities planned for the summer. Tristen and Aislinn will be in an art class at the local community college. They're really excited for that. This is a picture of Joe and Tristen on her first day of first grade.

Day 2

2009-05-19T10:44:00.004-05:00

November 19, 2007-- Linden was 2 days post op from her open heart surgery. My baby is amazing. Her doctors are amazing. Modern medicine is AMAZING. God is good.

I cannot believe that it's been six months since we were at Children's Hospital thousands of miles from home waiting for my sweet girl to come out of surgery. Day 2 was actually a good day. She was extubated and I got to nurse her for the first time after her operation. I remember how swollen she was and how hoarse her cries were, but she smelled so sweet and her tiny fingers curled around mine. I cradled her and rocked her for hours so thankful that she was going to be all right. I was so thankful that she was going to be healthy and I was dreaming of what kind of girl she'll be. I felt an actual bond forming on that day. Before then, I was so scared to lose her that I didn't feel such a strong connection with her, but on Day 2, I did.

This is right before I got to nurse her.

After she nursed. Look at how content she is here.

How tiny that sweet hand was. I took this because that is the approximate size of her heart. Isn't that crazy how they could fix something so small?!?!

2009-05-18T10:10:00.004-05:00

I most certainly did not drink so much caffeinated ice tea yesterday that it kept my little nursling up until 2:30 AM. Nope, not me!

I'm definitely not considering a 20 hour car ride in the summer with three kids, including a 10 month old baby. Not me!

I don't dread the word 'school' because my 5 year old BABY will be starting kindergarten and I cry every time I hear it. Not me!

Pain and Joy

2009-05-17T13:50:00.006-05:00

It's really been hitting me hard lately about how much pain there is in this world. My eyes have been opened to all of these sick children and their families who love them. I read blogs about people who have lost a child or have a sick child and through all the pain and tears and sadness and medicine there is still a sense of joy when 'speaking' about their children. I know that the only way to actually see beyond what is happening right now is to simply have faith in God. He will carry you through it.

This is a blog that I visit several times a day. "B", as she calls herself, is pregant with April, who is due day now and she is an absolute miracle. She has been diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and Holoprosencephaly. Her doctors were pushing for termination but they decided to leave everything in God's hands and here she is at 39 weeks (!!!) along!! God is definitely good. So, go on over there and read her posts and feel the presence of the Lord. He truly speaks through her. These coming weeks will be some of the hardest of B's life so please lift her up in your prayers.

www.littleoneapril.blogspot.com

About Linden's appointment

2009-05-13T22:17:00.001-05:00

Good news for ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She had some valve leakage at her last appointment so that's why her doctor wanted to put her on two new blood pressure meds, Enalapril and Digoxin, to lower her lung blood pressure and to force the 'bad' blood out of her heart. According to the 4d echo that was taken last appt it did look like she had a defect in the anatomy of her heart and that the meds most likely would not work because another surgery would be required to fix the leakage. After reviewing her echo today, her doctor said "She looks marvelous! There is significantly less leakage than last time and it looks like the meds are doing their jobs. We're going to put surgery on the back burner for now." I am sooooooooo relieved! It doesn't necessarily mean that she won't need surgery but for now she's responding incredibly well to the medicines. Her doc was shocked! He said that wasn't what he was expecting to see at all.

Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers!!!!

Linden's cardiologist appointment tomorrow

2009-05-11T20:05:00.014-05:00

Linden had her AV Canal repair surgery at Boston Children's Hospital on November 17, 2008. We were referred there when, after she was born, the echo showed that her heart had a more complicated anatomy than what they were expecting. Her doctor didn't expect her to get much bigger than she was at birth--5lbs 9.2oz--and he said that Boston is where he sends his "sickest, smallest, and most serious" patients. I remember that appointment like it was yesterday. My mom was with me and we were crying our eyes out. Well, Linden ended up never getting sick or showing signs of heart failure before her surgery. You never would have known that her heart was sick by looking at her. I was so thankful that God kept her well during that time. I'm also very thankful that God led us to Boston because they saved her life! She was in and out in a matter of a week. Can you believe that? I wanted to run through the halls screaming "She had OPEN HEART SURGERY a week ago!!!"

Well fast forward to the five month check-up after her surgery. Her cardiologist Dr. B was doing the echo and was unusally quiet. I don't think I even heard him breathe.

"She has alot of valve leakage, more than I want to see," he said after about 5 minutes of complete silence.

He then went on to tell me that before anything else, he wanted to admit her into the PICU for a blood pressure medicine to lower her lung blood pressure called Enalapril. He wanted to administer it in the hospital in case she had a bad reaction to it. He also wanted to put her on Digoxin to slow her heart rate down and Lasix to get rid of the extra fluid around her heart. That brought the grand total to 5 meds for her as she was already on Sotalol for the SVT (Super Ventricular Tachycardia) that she experienced 4 episodes of after her surgery in the hospital and baby Asprin for what is believed to be a small blood clot in her heart. He admitted her in the hospital that night and administered the drugs.

She responded amazingly well to the medicine well and was discharged after three days. She was coughing alot in the hospital and it continued once she got home so I was concerned that she may have a respitory infection of some sort. The many doctors and nurses who saw her didn't think that she did, though. However, Mommy's gut instincts are always right! She was coughing so much that she vomited all over our middle daughter (Sorry Aislinn!), so I called her pediatrician, who happened to be on vacation and referred me to another here in town. She saw Linden that afternoon and checked her ears and said that she had a raging double ear infection. My poor baby! She had been sick the whole time and no one bothered to check her ears even though I said that she was not feeling well. Dr. C put her on Augmentin, an antibiotic, which brought the counts of meds up to 6!

She started the Augmentin on Monday and by Wednesday she was STILL vomiting and had diarrhea, so I called Dr. C again and she said to bring her in right away. She didn't like the way Linden looked and I was concerned that she wasn't nursing or urinating enough. She ordered a chest x-ray (to rule out pneumonia) and bloodwork to check her electrolytes. About an hour or so later, Dr. C called back to say that her bloodwork came back and her electrolytes were really low so I needed to bring her in for an IV of fluids.

It took the nurse three sticks to find a vein and she finally did. Linden just cried and cried but never really squirmed around. She just keep looking at me with this sad face like "Mommy, please pick me up and nurse me." It was terrible. As soon as it was in, though, I did pick her up and nurse her while she got the fluids. She slept for about 30 minutes and didn't even wake up when the nurse took the IV out. Her doctor also ordered her off of the Augmentin and gave her some antibiotics through the IV, which was wonderful.

Her cardiologist called me in the meantime and wanted me to come to the bigger office because there's a more technologically advanced machine and he wanted some 4D images of her heart to rule out an anatomical defect that would require another surgery. We went a couple days later. It was really neat to see her heart in 4D--it's not what I thought it would look like. It took about 15 minutes to get a really good look at her heart and he sent me in the back room to nurse her while he looked at the shots with his partner. He came in after about 20 minutes and said, "Unfortunately, there is an anatomical defect with Linden's heart and no matter how much medicine we give her we can't fix it. She needs another surgery." I asked about where the surgery would be and he said that we would be going back to Boston but he had to send the information and video images to his colleague in Boston to look over and then they would decide the timeframe for the surgery.

Joe and I were really, really sad. We thought that we put that behind us and she just looked SO healthy that it was impossible that her heart was so sick.

Tomorrow is our follow-up appointment from that day and we're finding out when her next open heart surgery is. I'm very nervous about it. Don't think badly of me, but before her first surgery, I didn't bond with her as much as I could have. I was so scared to lose her that I was basically preparing myself in case something happened to her before surgery that I would be OK. Now, I am a wreck. She is my world. I cannot imagine losing her. I do love her so much more now. It's a different kind of love than before. I was scared to lose her and then she was healthy, but now she's sick again. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I miss...

2009-05-05T22:14:00.004-05:00

I'm having one of those days.

I miss my friends.
I miss living at my mom's house.
I miss fighting with my sister instead of going to sleep.
I miss Howie.
I miss nursing Aislinn.
I miss being carefree.
I miss Dad-Dad.
I miss sharing a room with Kip.
I miss MamMaw.
I miss cutting out pictures of babies and dreaming of how my life would be when I grew up.
I miss staying up all night talking on AIM.
I miss my room wallpapered with Hanson posters.
I miss borrowing clothes from Amanda.
I miss swimming at Haley's.
I miss Haley.
I miss being crazy at Kristi's.
I miss Kristi.
I miss making plays with Melany.
I miss Melany.
I miss Melanie's 'oranges'.
I miss Melanie.
I miss fighting with Kathryn over the denim booksack that she got.
I miss Kathryn

Life happens SO fast. Time flies. I'm feeling so sad today.

More about us

2009-05-04T20:58:00.002-05:00

In September 2008, we were blessed with our youngest baby girl, Linden Caroline, who happens to have an extra 21st chromosome (Down Syndrome). She is a complete and utter joy! She also had a heart defect, Complete Atrioventricular Canal Defect which was repaired November 17, 2008 at 11 weeks old and only 8lbs 8.8oz. She came through that just fine, but she'll have to have another surgery soon to correct the valve leakage issue that she has now. She's a trooper. :)

Here's a picture of her at 7.5 months. She's always such a happy, smiley girl!

A first for Me!

2009-04-22T10:45:00.008-05:00

I've journaled in private before, but never where everyone can see my random thoughts. I love reading other people's blogs, so I thought possibly someone could appreciate reading about my crazy and busy life.

I'm Bianca (24) married to Joe (aaalllmost 30 ;) ) Joe has a daughter, Tristen (7) from a previous marriage, I have Aislinn (4.5) from a previous relationship and we have Linden (7.5) together. It's a "Yours, Mine and Ours" type of situation.

If you've somehow stumbled across my blog, I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts. We've had a lot go on in the past year, so I'll explain as I go.